Jelly Sticks and Stuff

I think it's safe to say that the pregnancy hormones are raging. Maybe I'm also suffering from a slight case of post-16-hour-road-trip-coming-home-to-a-dead-car-and-two-straight-days-of-work-followed-by-a-Sunday-night-meeting-that-I-was-partially-in-charge-of exhaustion. It probably didn't help that we kept the kids out too late this afternoon which resulted in a rapid toy store exit with two screaming and thrashing little ladies who proceeded to yell at the top of their lungs the entire 20 minute drive home. At some point during the process, I got a couple of clocks to the head by the youngest and there is something so belittling about being hit by your children. Ugg.

Needless to say, I came home and crawled into bed and had a refreshingly good cry and word vomit session before Graham came and banished me to a coffee shop alone. I love that man. There is nothing quite like having someone validate you by saying "What we are doing right now is really hard." I feel a bit like I'm drowning, constantly overwhelmed and feeling incredibly under-prepared for this 3rd baby. At least I can now say I've ordered the car seat!! 

We are in a stage of waiting and it sort of feels like our life is on pause. Except that nothing is really pausing. Graham finally heard some long-awaited news about a couple of job opportunities so now it's time to return to square one and start again. There are a lot of decisions hanging on the future location of said job and so until we know where he will be working, we're trying to wait patiently. We have played a lot this summer (mostly in the form of travel) and now that we are home, I'm hoping we can slow down and re-prioritize and hammer some things out.

As Graham reminded me today, Isla won't care whether her new room is Pinterest-approved. She probably doesn't even know to ask for new curtains or a bed spread at this age. She also won't care if our birthday gift to her comes primarily in the form of some good, focused, you-are-special attention. I mean really, all she tells us she really wants is a jelly stick anyway (what the heck is that!!?)    

Sigh. I'm feeling better already, not to mention a lot more realistic. As much as I'd love for everything to be ready, decided, figured out, finished, I know that the process is just as (if not more) important than the final product. I'm really excited to see what's coming down the pipe and the last thing I want is to be closed off to an opportunity for growth. Prayers for wisdom appreciated!