Dads and Daughters

Some friends recently asked us what we did to keep ourselves busy during our 5 day hospital stay. Did we get bored? It's amazing how you just go into this "other mode" when a crisis situation strikes, and compared to what I'm used to seeing, five days is really a rather short length of stay. We look back on the past week and can hardly believe it is already Sunday again. Only just one week ago, we were laying Emma down for the night, only to wake up and rush her to the ER. Time just flew by in one solid blur. We spent a lot of time at the hospital waiting, hours upon hours of holding, time praying, time crying. My pastor published this very timely post while we were in the trenches, so to speak, with Emma, a post about being still and reflecting.

On one of the evenings, after things started looking up again, Graham and I took a moment to pause and reflect. We rolled the bedside table over to the bed and dined on a meal of green salad, pasta, crusty bread, salami & cheese (thanks to our wonderful family and friends who kept an ongoing supply of meals and snacks coming!) I sipped on chocolate milk and we talked about how we were doing, what this whole ordeal meant. Neither of us believe that God causes this kind of painful situation to happen in our lives. The God we believe in is not out to get and hurt us. But we do believe He works through the hard times to teach us, and grow us as individuals and in our relationship with himself.

I very tearfully pointed out the positives in all this, the things that I will take away. I cannot even tell you how wonderfully painful it was to watch Graham and his littlest girl. When we came into the ER, I was fully expecting him to be the strong, rock solid nurse, present for all the procedures, taking everything in stride. And don't get me wrong, strong he most certainly was, but it a totally different and unexpected way. When the ER doctor came to do the lumbar puncture (spinal tap), he asked if we both wanted to be there. I told him I would stay if he needed me to but deferred to his wisdom as to whether it was something a mother should witness. He took one look at my puffy eyes and red face and recommended I step into the waiting room and so Graham volunteered to stay at Emma's bedside. When they brought me back into the exam room, I looked at Graham and knew something was up. I figured he was still kicking himself for not going to Overlake but as it turns out, that wasn't it at all.

When the inexperienced nurse began to dig around in Emma's little arm for a vein, Graham said he needed to go for a walk. "A walk?!" I balked. "Right now?" After that reaction, he stayed by my side but proceeded to pace the room nervously. After the nurse failed to get the IV and left the room, he completely broke down. When I asked him what was wrong, he shared how it was so hard to watch these things he sees happen on a daily basis, happen to his child. The tears he shed were heart-wrenching. But there was also so much beauty in those tears.

I know they say it takes a father a lot longer to bond with a new baby than it does the mother. But I think the diamond in the rough of this story is that we both came out of it so incredibly bonded to this sweet baby, so thankful that the Lord saw fit to bless us with another little girl. Granted I would never, ever wish this sort of experience on anyone, but am so thankful for the amazing connection that I witnessed being formed between Daddy and Daughter. I've told Graham time and time again and I will say it once more: he is just made to father daughters and our girls are very, very blessed.