Emma: 9 Months

Emma is getting so big! She had her 9 mo appointment and weighed 17 pounds, 5.5 ounces (25%ile), was 26.5 inches long (10-25%ile). She desperately wants to be more mobile than her rolling tactics allow but actually does get around pretty well, all things considered. We often find her in precarious locations like this:

She has begun to eagerly grab at any fingers in the near vicinity to use to pull herself up. She hasn't quite figuring out how to move her legs once in the walking position but sure loves to stand. I often come in after her nap to find her up on all fours and I've seen her get from there to the sitting position on a few occasions. I think crawling is in the very near future!

She is learning new things every day. On May 28th, she clapped for the first time and she is just figuring out how to wave. She is in the copying phase and likes to mimic the various sounds we make. Oh, and she discovered her voice. She LOVES shrieking as loud and high as she possibly can.

It has really struck me this month that Emma has her own personality and it is beginning to shine through! She's generally easy-going and happy to sit surrounded by toys or roll around the room and find her own fun. But she also has a bit of a willful side that she is declaring over the past couple weeks. She's figured out how to cry and scream when she doesn't want something and stubbornly wait in her highchair, not touching her food in hopes I will give her something else (which I don't do and she eventually eats what's served). She also is tender and sensitive and has developed a real sense of fear. She is 100% scared of dogs, even stuffed ones. If one even comes in the same room as her, she begins blinking rapidly and squinting her eyes, pulling away and screaming in fear. This caught me quite by surprise as Isla was never this way so it drove home the point: we have two very different, unique children. And I love that!

Emma is such a little ham! She is still doing her signature move where she tilts her head to the side when we say "sideways" but now she adds some drama to it for extra attention. She loves to throw her cup (and food) off the side of the high chair and then quick lean over to watch it hit the floor. Kids are so smart. And they learn early!

We've transitioned Emma is to pretty much all finger foods which has made her quite the happy camper and over the past week, I fed her cut up pieces of the family meal every night. This is making dinner much easier. The main challenge now is cutting up the food fast enough--she's an eating machine! This month, we've introduced wheat, yogurt, cheese (which she seems to prefer in combination with bread or tortilla--quesadilla or grilled cheese), salmon, zucchini, berries, radish, asparagus, watermelon, orange, grapefruit and the list continues. Since she's done so well, I'm no longer really doing the introduce-foods-one-at-a-time thing but rather just avoiding a few key items: milk, egg whites, shellfish, honey and nuts (although I accidentally fed her sweet potatoes that had been cooked in peanut oil--oops!) She loves meat, particularly shredded chicken and she's a sucker for Cheerios. She becomes instantly hungry anytime she sees that big yellow box. She's made me a proud mama, watching her chow down on steak w/ anchovy sauce and spicy rapini. (Yep, no teeth on this one either....)

This girl also loves the bath. As soon as you put her in the tub, she begins flailing and splashing with all her might. It's really quite entertaining and the girls have a great time in there together.

Oh, and she probably could use a haircut but I just can't bring myself to do it! You know it's bad when you alternate which side you part your kids' hair each week in hopes that maybe you were just doing it on the "wrong" side before... Nope. Emma's hair is chalk full of cowlicks and it wants to go every which way, including straight into her eyes. I've tried clips but then found her with one in her mouth (total choking hazard!!!!) so now that's out... The top middle is all her original hair so it's about 3 times as long as the rest but it's precious and just love my girls, crazy hair and all!

Isla: 2 Years, 9 Months (33 mo)

By far, Isla's favorite thing to do these days is dress up. This came upon us so quickly that I haven't had a chance to put together a dress up box but she doesn't seem to care in the least. Her own drawers (and mine!) seem to supply her with plenty enough "costumes." She is frequently striping down and appearing downstairs in a new outfit and her floor is ALWAYS covered in clothes. A couple of weeks her obsession was with swimsuits; this week all she wants to wear are dresses, skirts and baby legs. She has developed quite the opinion on what she wears each day and it is always exciting to see the final product. She usually ends up in all shades of pink "because they match." Sometimes I wonder if I should start taking daily pictures of her just to document her style! See?

I'm proud to announce she is officially potty trained!!!! It sort of just happened and looking back I realize we probably could have succeeded quite a while back had I taken away the diapers and put her in underwear. All it took were a few accidents for her to get it. Her big motivator was a promised bus trip to the park once she went in the big girl potty. Now we owe her another bus trip as she has mastered #2 in the toilet as well. She still wears a diaper at night but wakes up dry about twice a week. Hopefully we can take those away before long but I'm just not ready for regular middle-of-the-night sheet changes just yet.

Isla is really into fill-in-the-blank story telling. Before her afternoon nap, she usually asks if we can lay on the guest bed (where she is napping these days) "for a few more minutes" and either "talk about taking the bus to the park" or "tell a story about a little girl named Isla." We usually begin the story and just pause here and there and let her fill in the blanks. She LOVES it and comes up with quite the creative tales about the little girl who likes to eat pasta and green beans for breakfast and who has to wait for her turn on the swing at the park.

Isla has finally reached the stage where she is offering compliments. I LOVE IT!! At dinner, she usually says "Thank you for the delicious dinner Mommy!" at least 3 or 4 times. The other day she was watching me arrange the throw pillows on my bed when she exclaimed "That looks beautiful Mommy!" I am hoping the words of affirmation that we try so hard to say to her are paying off. Sometimes I even catch her affirming herself with things like "I'm wearing such a beautiful dress!"

With the bout of warm weather we've had this month, we've spent a good deal of time outside in the yard. Isla absolutely loves "swimming" in the kiddie pool and playing with buckets of water. She's going to be a great helper in the garden this summer with all the watering she wants to do! She's helped me plant most of my veggies and herbs too and is so excited to watch each grow. She also discovered the broom for our back patio and now begs to go outside and "ride the broom." I'm totally serious.

Isla's curiosity with the human body is blossoming. She is obsessed with breasts and breastfeeding and even asked Graham yesterday if she could touch his "nips" and if he "was going to feed Emma on his nips." No, we don't call them "nips" but apparently she does!

Isla is doing a wonderful job of playing WITH other kids now, not just with their toys. She's definitely the boss and likes to keep things in order and tell everyone what to do. I had to laugh because she had her cousin Liam (2nd cousin, technically) who is 4 days older over a couple weeks back. They shared a classic girl vs boy moment: Isla was asking Liam repeatedly, "Liam, do you want to dress up in your swim suit!?" (total girl). Meanwhile Liam, who was banging some blocks together and responds "No Isla. I'm busy breaking things!" (total boy). :)

Isla continues to take one mid-day nap (hallelujah) and sleeps from ~7/7:30 PM to 6:30/7 AM (the wake up time keeps inching earlier....) At bedtime, I lay both girls in Emma's crib for prayers. It's become a fun routine that they both love and we usually end the day with giggles.

Processing

It's been a bit of a hard week emotionally for me so bear with me here. I am in need of a space to process. The contents of this post are fresh and therefore mixed with lots of emotion. But I want them documented so consider yourself warned.

A week ago Monday, I took Emma to her second appointment at Children's Hospital to see her cranial/facial doctor and plastic surgeon. I've found it to be unsettling or humbling or heartbreaking or maybe all of the above to go there. I've been there to interview. I have many contacts there, fellow dietitians, doctors and nurse practitioners and we transfer babies there quite frequently. But this week, I was there as the mother of a patient. Yet again, I find myself "getting" to experience medicine from "the other side" with my sweet Emma.

As I glanced around the waiting room at the patients and families around me, I was reminded how blessed we are that our reason for visiting is so minor in the grand scheme of things. But, it doesn't make it any easier and so I'm not going to fib and pretend to be unaffected. Our life with Emma began in whirlwind fashion with her early illness and hospitalization (totally unrelated to the reason we are visiting Children's now, by the way). And life has continued at a steady clip (as it does with multiple young children) and so in many ways, I feel like I haven't yet had time to process this whole nose thing.

To be honest, I have no idea how many of you actually know about Emma's "nose thing." Maybe it's obvious to the general public and maybe it's not. And I'm not sure if I want to know the truthful answer to that for fear it might hurt too much. Emma has what is known in the medical community as a cleft nose. We've been told it's extremely rare and that, thankfully, hers is a very mild form of it. The cleft is in her right nare and occurred very early on, ~35-55 days gestation, when she was smaller than the white of my fingernail. In addition to the misshapen nare, she also has a skin tag of extra tissue right on the inside of her nose. It is all a blur but our nurse in the delivery room after she was born noticed it right away and announced "She has a slight cleft nose!" The doctor was busy stitching me up while the rest of the medical team surrounded Emma on the warmer when it was first spotted. All I recall is that I distinctly remember Graham asking if we could please call it something else because the term "cleft" brought to mind too many pictures of severe malformations.

And so here we are, almost 9 months later. I notice her nose every single day. Sometimes it doesn't affect me much and then there are days like today where I am holding her in front of the mirror and I begin to cry. I am so fiercely, desperately, protective of her. I know how hard it is to develop a healthy sense of self-worth and esteem as it is in our culture. Then add something like this to the picture and I just don't know how it works. I want so badly for her to grow up completely secure, knowing that she is loved, adored and fearfully, wonderfully and beautifully made. By the grace of God, this will happen. But I confess it sounds a bit daunting.

I was reminded today at MOPS that I am uniquely chosen to be the mother of my children. This comforts me beyond measure. I am chosen to be the one to raise them and nurture them just the way they are, for who they are. So I trust that the Lord will provide the wisdom, insight and words for me to raise up healthy, confident children who see themselves through His eyes.

As I examine the mix of thoughts and emotions that have resurfaced this week with our recent follow up appointment, I've realized that it is ok for this to impact me. And I need to be honest about the fact that it does. I broke down and cried in the exam room when the cranial-facial doctor came in to visit. I realized I have silently been wondering what every mom wonders. I didn't even have to ask the question aloud before the doctor interrupted me to say he was so sorry he hadn't told me earlier "It's nothing you did." I can't even tell you how much those words meant to me.

So what's next? Well, we don't know. A lot of wait and see. The doctors don't want to do surgery for a while, until her nose is more fully developed. They told me there's a possibility they could do two separate surgeries, the first to remove the skin tag when she is about 6 years old and the second to reshape her nare when she is a teenager. Or they may not do any surgeries at all. It all depends on how her nose grows and whether it is causing her problems. For now, we wait a year and go back for a check up.

Until then, I think it will continue to sting a bit. I don't know what to tell people are "the right" words to say. There really aren't any that are right. But what I want more than anything is for everyone to love our daughter with us, to build her up and affirm her. She is a riot. And she's beautiful. She makes us smile and laugh every day. She is a precious gift and I want the very, very best for her. I feel totally inadequate to be her mama, like I will majorly screw something up and damage her permanently. But yet I trust that in Christ, I will be enough. Prayers appreciated!

Psalm 139:13-14 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

So there you are. A peak at this mama's heart.

Mother's Day

 Today my sweet family treated me to a breakfast of my favorite pancakes at Julia's on Capital Hill, followed by a walk at Greenlake, church and then a spring pasta lunch with the extended fam (and multitple generations!) at John & Tash's. We closed out the day with some pool time at home, enjoying the last bits of sunshine. The girls gave me some beautiful flowers for my yard and a new 1/2 barrel to replace the rotting one we got on our wedding day. Isla's been on a purple kick and so 2 of the plants she picked were in varying shared of it. Gifts mean so much more these days when I know SHE chose them for me. She came home from MOPS earlier in the week with some beautiful artwork, complete with her handprints and a quote that read "I'm thankful for mama because...'She lets me help make pancakes' and 'She colors with me.'" Melts my heart. Oh how I adore being mama to these two girls!

 

 

 

Happy Shower, Tash!

Today I had the pleasure of showering my dear sister-in-law and sweet Canon with a clothing shower! Canon is going to be the best looking guy around with all the adorable outfits he was given. John and Tash chose lime green and navy blue for their nursery colors so I did my best to match the theme. Thanks to my incredible mother-in-law for the AMAZING cake! She is quite the talented baker. Canon was a star and slept through the entire party. Tash, I hope you enjoyed your day today. You are such a glowing mama and I look forward to sharing the years to come with you. Happy 1st Mother's Day!!! 

 

 

  

 

 

MAY DAY!

I don't know what happened but this month is FULL! Realistically I should be working on one of my many obligations right now but I'm not. It's sunny and BOTH girls are napping so I'm taking a brief, much-needed mental break, just me and my laptop on the back porch.

Yesterday, it was about 3 PM when I realized I have no idea what we're having for dinner. This may be a rather common occurrence for the average American household but it is a major red flag in mine. Oh where is my brain? Swirling with many other things, apparently. Don't you worry, we did eat. And actually quite well. I remembered at the last minute I did have something planned, but it had slipped my mind, along with most other non-essentials right now. 

This morning at MOPS, I was reminded that I actually do still love cooking. And eating. There have been moments in the last 8 months where I've nearly forgotten, but my passion for all things food is still buried in there, you just might have to peel a couple of layers back first (namely the children that are dangling from my limbs). The dinner hour has been a rather treacherous one as of late and I've often found myself, like many I think, wishing I could fast forward through the hours of 5 to 7 PM.

But this morning a fellow dietitian spoke to the common challenges that arise when feeding a young family. She does a tremendous job of getting her kids into the grocery store and kitchen to help her with the whole process of food preparation. Admittedly, I once was good at that, back when I was a nanny but the skill faded somewhat when I became a mother myself. I often try to preoccupy the girls while I cook instead of engaging them in the cooking. It's humbling as I of all people should know, but I'm grateful for the reminder I heard this morning.

I'm REALLY excited for this summer, to have Isla help harvest the veggies we've planted on the patio, to let her pick out new produce to try at the produce stand, to go berry picking. Teaching my girls to have a healthy relationship with food is a passion for me and I want to utilize every opportunity I'm given and make every moment count!

Nostalgia

Late Sunday night, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law gave birth to their first, a son. Meet Canon McIntosh Crozier! Apparently the ever-popular Crozier saying "Go big or go home" applies to babies too. He weighed 9 pounds, 6 ounces, only two ounces less than Emma (us daughter-in-laws did not know what we were in for when we married Croziers!) Anyway, he's adorable. I've only held him once but I already love him.

Watching John and Tash become parents has resulted in waves of nostalgia for me, remembering those first few days after giving birth. Oh how I wish I could relive them! Of course the birth of each child is amazing (at least the birth of my two children have been) but there is something about the firstborn that is so magical.

To this day, Graham recalls the moment pictured above, in the first hour after Isla was born, as the best part of our marriage so far. He says I was just glowing. And looking back at it now, I can see that I was. Everyone tells you to slow down because "it goes by so fast," words that you never want to hear in the moment, words that go in one ear and out the other. I'm only 2 1/2 years out but I can already attest to the truth in them. It does go by fast. Really fast. You won't realize it at the time, but those moments with the firstborn are priceless because they offer the only opportunity you will have to give your undivided attention as a parent. It's a rare and wonderful occasion. Children are such a sweet and precious gift!

Emma: 8 months

How oh how can my baby already be 8 months old!? She is such a sweet little girl and is generally laid back. I think she has her dad's personality! She is a classic 2nd child and can usually sit and happily entertain herself on the floor.

Emma loves being "chased" by Isla. Any time I carry her down the stairs with Isla following along behind, Emma clings tightly to me and begins squealing with glee and looking over her shoulder to see her sister. I swear she's beginning to understand me because often I ask her "Where's Isla?" and she starts scanning the room until she finds Isla. The two are almost inseparable and Emma goes down much easier at night when Isla is in the room. Often I wake to them giggling at each other in their cribs.

I introduced Emma to the swings at the park this month and she LOVES them. She could sit there and swing forever, just like her big sis.

Graham created a game he calls "Attack of the Baby" that is another form of entertainment in our house. You can see why here:

She is soooo easily distracted now. She no longer nurse in public very well or actually anywhere really that is noisy. She nurses about 4-5 times/day on average now and eats 3 meals of solids. She is a great water drinker.

New foods this month include Cheerios, cauliflower, broccoli, acorn squash, celery, prunes, beets, pears, carrots, rice, red pepper, green beans, corn and egg yolk. It took her a month but she can now pick up and eat Cheerios and other small pieces of food all by herself.

She has become very ticklish and it's pretty hard to resist doing it when she responds like this:

Emma has figured out how to click her tongue and she loves it when you do it back to her.
She loves to say "na-na-na-na" so I've started singing "Na-naaaa-naa-naa-naa-na! Gettin' jiggy with it. Na na na na na na!" to her in response and she just laughs and laughs.

Now that Emma is rolling, we officially have ourselves a little tummy sleeper. I always lay her down on her back but she only stays that way for ~20 seconds before she flips to her belly. She continues to be a cat napper during the day, sleeping EXACTLY 35-40 minutes, 2 or 3 times a day. It's frustrating but I know this too shall pass.

She goes to bed at 7 PM and was consistently waking only once/night at 4 AM to eat. But then she decided to add back an appetizer feed at 2 AM so we did some more cry it out with the sole goal of getting rid of the 2 AM business. Instead, she exceeded my expectations and sleep all the way until 6 or 6:30 AM on a few occasions this past week! I'm hopeful we are on track for her to consistently begin sleeping through the night. She's a joy!