Lately I have been in numerous social situations where "Mom bloggers" have been bashed and thrown under the bus. They have been casually written off as jealousy-inducing, to-be-avoided-if-you-want-to-feel-ok-about-yourself uses of internet space. Maybe I'm putting it a little too harshly but I've noticed that women do get rather fired up about the topic. Usually when these conversations take place, I grow quiet, smiling graciously but choosing not to say anything. To be honest, I get it. There are certain blogs that, after reading, make me feel like the laziest human that has ever lived. What? I'm not daily making new hair bows to tame that crazy beautiful hair both my daughters sport? I'm not hand-stitching new pillow cases to go with the seasons? Not making my marshmallows from scratch a-la Martha Stewart? (Ok, confession: I have tried that last one - NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!!!) Yes, I get it. There are certain moments where reading blogs like these probably aren't good for my mental well-being and maybe yours too. They often portray only the highlights, the good, the "Facebook reality," to use this recently-born 21st century term.
But, if I may be so bold as to say it, I really don't think all these Mom bloggers are out to chisel at your self esteem. All these conversations have led me to ask the question Why is it that I blog? I think my reasons have changed over the years. Blogging was initially a fun hobby. Then it became an online baby book when kids entered the picture. It's a great way to share recipes and photos, and also a vacation journal. Most recently for me though, it has functioned as a space to process my thoughts, a way to document and then look back on where I have been and where I am going. It is what I hope will someday be a vehicle for change, for vulnerability, even if just for a couple of sweet souls.
Last week, we had some new friends over for coffee and cookies. He is a pastor but recently made a career change to complete a chaplaincy program. We got to talking about his work and I wondered aloud how challenging it must be to work with patients who came from different faith backgrounds than his own. He answered quickly that no, these are the easy patients, it is the Christians that pose the greatest challenge. Generally speaking of course, people from other religions speak freely of their hurt and pain and their thoughts about God. In contrast, many Christians feel the need to temper their pain and even anger with lines like "But everything is OK because I have Jesus."
These words really hit home for me. It's a topic I've been pondering a lot as of late. It seems to be cultural to keep everything only at surface level, to look like you have it all together, particularly in Christian circles. We run from honesty. This approach bugs me though I am often a guilty participant. But it is certainly not Biblical. I mean look at David in the Psalms who cries out Where are you God? If that's not honesty than I'm not sure what is! We all struggle and go through hard times. We are broken people and it takes a great deal of courage in this world to be vulnerable and do more that scratch the surface in our relationships.
So why is it that I blog? Lately it is because I need to see the beauty in my life. I'm in a hard season. And that's ok. I don't have it all together. In fact, most of the time it seems like I'm a late, anxious emotional mess (I blame hormones!) more than anything else. But I recognize that it is a season and that this too shall pass. I am called to Count it all joy when I encounter various trials. And I honestly have no idea what that means. I've spent the past few weeks reading and reflecting on this idea, this command actually. Right now, when my day-to-day is basically endless piles of laundry and diaper changes and hungry mouths to feed, little rest and minimal time for the activities I love, I'm finding it hard to see the joy. But it is there and as I journey through this season, I don't want to miss it so I post a lot of the positive highlights in this space. That's the closest I can come to identifying what it means for me to count it all joy right now.
In addition to posting the pockets of beauty I encounter, my hope is to also temper this space with some of the hard too. Because, like I said, we all struggle at times and we need to cozy up and get more comfortable with the pain. Yes, I love Jesus. But there have also been times in my life where, much like David, I have wondered where He is. And I'm guessing maybe you have too? Being vulnerable isn't always a comfortable place to be but I'm learning in the end there is freedom in it.
So in this season right now, this is why I blog.
But, if I may be so bold as to say it, I really don't think all these Mom bloggers are out to chisel at your self esteem. All these conversations have led me to ask the question Why is it that I blog? I think my reasons have changed over the years. Blogging was initially a fun hobby. Then it became an online baby book when kids entered the picture. It's a great way to share recipes and photos, and also a vacation journal. Most recently for me though, it has functioned as a space to process my thoughts, a way to document and then look back on where I have been and where I am going. It is what I hope will someday be a vehicle for change, for vulnerability, even if just for a couple of sweet souls.
Last week, we had some new friends over for coffee and cookies. He is a pastor but recently made a career change to complete a chaplaincy program. We got to talking about his work and I wondered aloud how challenging it must be to work with patients who came from different faith backgrounds than his own. He answered quickly that no, these are the easy patients, it is the Christians that pose the greatest challenge. Generally speaking of course, people from other religions speak freely of their hurt and pain and their thoughts about God. In contrast, many Christians feel the need to temper their pain and even anger with lines like "But everything is OK because I have Jesus."
These words really hit home for me. It's a topic I've been pondering a lot as of late. It seems to be cultural to keep everything only at surface level, to look like you have it all together, particularly in Christian circles. We run from honesty. This approach bugs me though I am often a guilty participant. But it is certainly not Biblical. I mean look at David in the Psalms who cries out Where are you God? If that's not honesty than I'm not sure what is! We all struggle and go through hard times. We are broken people and it takes a great deal of courage in this world to be vulnerable and do more that scratch the surface in our relationships.
So why is it that I blog? Lately it is because I need to see the beauty in my life. I'm in a hard season. And that's ok. I don't have it all together. In fact, most of the time it seems like I'm a late, anxious emotional mess (I blame hormones!) more than anything else. But I recognize that it is a season and that this too shall pass. I am called to Count it all joy when I encounter various trials. And I honestly have no idea what that means. I've spent the past few weeks reading and reflecting on this idea, this command actually. Right now, when my day-to-day is basically endless piles of laundry and diaper changes and hungry mouths to feed, little rest and minimal time for the activities I love, I'm finding it hard to see the joy. But it is there and as I journey through this season, I don't want to miss it so I post a lot of the positive highlights in this space. That's the closest I can come to identifying what it means for me to count it all joy right now.
In addition to posting the pockets of beauty I encounter, my hope is to also temper this space with some of the hard too. Because, like I said, we all struggle at times and we need to cozy up and get more comfortable with the pain. Yes, I love Jesus. But there have also been times in my life where, much like David, I have wondered where He is. And I'm guessing maybe you have too? Being vulnerable isn't always a comfortable place to be but I'm learning in the end there is freedom in it.
So in this season right now, this is why I blog.
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