I'm not sure which is worse: a) going into labor not knowing what exactly to expect (i.e. first pregnancy) or b) going into labor having a pretty good recollection of what it is like (pregnancy two). I'll be the first to admit I'm totally scared! And I'd wager a bet that answer b is definitely worse.
I've been mentally reviewing my prior labor experience and it is sort of crazy how much one is able to forget. I don't know that I ever made my "birth story" public on my blog. It wasn't that it was any big secret, I just don't think I ever got around to typing up the hand-written copy I have in my pregnancy journal. Anyway, a lot of it is a bit blurry but there are a few memories that will not fade. Like how I literally thought to myself "I think I'm gonna die. Uh oh, I actually think I might be dying. This is not good. This certainly can't be healthy!" Or how it took my being on pitocin at 8 ml/hr (!!!) to even get the contractions going 12 hours after my water broke (Isla had to be out in within 24 hr of my water breaking since I was GBS+). Oh and how they told me pitocin doesn't effect the intensity of the contractions. YEAH. RIGHT. Or the horrible back labor that was so bad I could barely leave the bed to use the restroom (which I needed to do about every 2.4 seconds or so).
Anyhow, not to scare any of my currently-pregnant friends. It really wasn't all bad and so I'm trying to focus on the positives and the things that worked for me. I hesitated making my "birth plan" public on the Internet as I didn't want people to judge me if I wasn't able to do what I'd hoped to do (because really, NO birth goes the way you "plan"). In fact, I almost wasn't even going to make a birth plan. But then my doctor pointed out that a birth plan is really mostly for me so that I have something to hold myself accountable. And I realized that that's precisely what I need: accountability.
So, without further adieu, my (loose!) birth plan:
1) I am going to try my darndest to go au natural but I'm also not going to totally beat myself up if that plan changes. My first line of defense will be IV meds again. I'm planning to remind myself that I'll save money if I can go without!
2) I would like Jim Brickman piano music playing on the laptop (totally random that that's what played during my labor with Isla but hey, it worked!)
3) I want cold wash cloths to my forehead and the back of my neck and my hair pulled back out of my eyes.
4) I think another hand massage with my Satin Hands creams during early labor sounds nice.
5) I would like a tennis ball to my lower back should I experience back labor again (didn't have this with Isla and SOOO wish I did).
6) I plan to have Graham talk me through the relaxation of individual body parts to keep my mind off the pain (also new but potentially helpful).
7) I will likely dwell on the fact that my sister had Gideon completely naturally (a little healthy competition-probably my most powerful motivator!)
8) Please, please, please no pitocin if at all possible (though I'm ok with it if my labor won't progress as I'm GBS+ again).
9) I would like a "vaginal cocktail" as I like to refer to it during crowning/delivery. TMI? Sorry, but it's a part of my plan. At the time I had no idea what was going on but I recall my doctor mixing up some liquid and splashing me with it "down there" when I was delivering Isla. I made sure at my last appointment that it is a part of his usual delivery routine because, whatever it was, it was amazing. Graham tells me it was lidocaine. Whatever it was, bring it!
10) When I start asking for meds or saying I can't do it anymore, I want Graham to tell me I'm in transition. I don't really care if I am or not. But hopefully I will be. Last time, I totally was but no one believed that I could possibly be that far along so ended up giving me the meds way to close to Isla's birth (like 5 minutes before I was ready to push).
11) I will use the fact that we don't know the baby's gender as a huge motivator--need to get the baby out ASAP to figure it out.
Oh boy, I'm sure not looking forward to the process but I can't wait to see the end result!
You can do it Kelsie. The second time around isn't as bad because you KNOW what to expect and what it was like the last time. I was able to tell more about where I was in labor because I had experienced it before. I went with midwives and home births to make myself go all natural. For one reason mainly, I HATE needles. If there were no drugs around then I couldn't ask for them. I will be praying for you in the coming weeks.
ReplyDeleteOuch! Hah....that list made me cringe a little. I'll say a prayer for you! Do they have those exercise balls at the hospital? Are you bound to the bed once you get the IV? If you can move around the room a little while laboring to find a 'comfortable' position it might help. Sitting on the ball was like the best thing for me with both labors. And that whole "i am dying" feeling? Ug. Enjoy! Ahhhhh....transition...........
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