Carving pumpkins!

Emma: 8 Weeks

-Our poor baby caught the crud this week, just like the rest of us. She made it about 4 days without getting sick so I thought we were in the clear but then she started sneezing and coughing and now you can hear and feel the crackles in her lungs. She's quite the trooper though and isn't letting it get to her. I was SUPER nervous at first because I was afraid we'd end up back in the hospital but she's breathing and eating fine and doesn't seem too bothered. We had considered moving her to the kids' room this week until she got sick. Now I'm keeping her in our room so I can watch her like a hawk.

-I feel like we have a pretty good eat, play, sleep routine going on and she's getting pretty good at napping as long as I catch her earlier enough and get her swaddled.
-Emma LOVES her kitchen sink baths. They always make her happy and full of coos.

-Everyone always thinks she's a boy because of her hair. I guess it looks like a boy's haircut. Sorry people! I didn't have much control over the style she arrive with! :)

-We have a lot of nicknames in mind for our little lady but aren't quite sure how to start using them. Weird, I know but it feels funny to call her anything other than Emma at present. I just LOVE the nickname "Em" though. Let's be honest, I really hope she has a boyfriend someday who calls her that.

Isla: 26 Months

There is no longer much silence in our home. My eldest LOVES to talk and talk and talk. Her favorite phrase this month is "Wuz dat, Mommy?" She says it all the time and is usually pointing at various objects, a lot of times the same one over and over. Other times I think she says it and then randomly finds something to point at just to fill the silence. Often I enjoy my conversation companion but I must confess there are moments where the repeated question gets on my nerves. I've learned that if I throw it right back at her and ask "Isla, what's that?" then she will answer and move on.

I do really love that Isla can now communicate everything that she wants or is thinking. She has told me a number of times in the past couple weeks that she wants to talk. So we sit and talk, usually about the park.

Isla is HILARIOUS! At least we think so. She comes up with the most random little dialogues. I've started jotting them down (my Facebook friends probably get an overload) because they just crack me up! This week we were riding in the car and out of no where she says "My hair's CRAZY!" True. Very true. She also told me that "Daddy lives on a school bus." I don't know where it comes from but she is quite creative.

Isla is now calling people by name. For example "Wuz dat Mommy?" Or "Look at those trees over there Grandpa?"

I love the way that Isla talks because it totally isn't what you'd expect to come out of the mouth of a 2 year old. It's humbling sometimes because I realize that she gets it from someone - do I really talk like this? She's started adding words like "maybe" or "someday" and "or something" to the end of her sentences. She says things like "Want to play toys maybe?" Or "Daddy will come out of the library someday. Maybe Tuesday?" and "Want to go to the park or something?" Her phrases make me laugh all the time!

Isla used to always beg "Mommy play ah Isla?" (I think the "ah" was her version of "with") but then Graham spent an afternoon trying to teach Isla to stop referring to herself in third person. She didn't seem to be picking up on it but then all of a sudden last week the switch flipped. She still sometimes calls herself "Isla" but more often than not is now saying "me" and "my." Success!!

One of Isla's favorite activities at present is pushing anything and everything around in the doll stroller we got for her birthday. That stroller must have a million miles on it by now she just loves pushing it so much! And let's be honest, that is also currently the reason she goes to church because she knows they have strollers she can push.

She loves to play with her fake food/kitchen stuff and "cook" and pour coffee or tea with her dishes. Somehow one of my cupboards became the oven so I'll often find a toy pot in there "baking."

We have definitely reached an age where playdates are super fun. Isla is very intrigued by older kids and often chases them around purely out of curiosity, watching their every move. It creeps a lot of kids out actually because she doesn't have any sort of a personal bubble. She LOVES playing with her cousin Gideon. They scream and shriek and chases each other around everywhere.

We've hit a small bout of separation anxiety ever since Emma arrived. Isla cries every time she knows we are going to leave her which is usually as we are walking toward her class at church. I'm told she does fine as soon as we leave but cries quite a bit while we are still in ear shot.

I think Isla has realized that Emma isn't leaving so we are seeing a few changes in her behavior. Usually she is all over her sister, talking to her, trying to get her to "drink" a cup of pretend coffee etc but there are also moments where she tries to pat (read: hit) her belly a little too hard and does so while looking at us to prove a point. All in all though, I'd still say she's adjusting well.

I am always blown away by her little memory. It is amazing how much she can put together like for instance if I tell her we are going to MOPS, she can list her friends who will be there. She is recognizing roads we drive on regularly and can accurately tell me when we're "almost home." She knows who belongs with whom and will often asks where a person is if we are with friends and someone is missing.

I love this next picture. Isla always want to be in on the action, to be where the party's at. Here she pulled up a chair all by herself to help Grandma Wilson cut Auntie Lani's birthday cake.

Isla has started to pray by herself this month. Sometimes we catch her praying with Ducky and sometimes she'll randomly just start praying in the car. Over the weekend Graham and I heard her say "Thank you for Mommy and for Daddy" which totally warmed our hearts. There are a few regulars who she ALWAYS includes in her prayers (Rachel, Oliver, Jeremy and Olona) and lately she's added a few inanimate objects such as the light and the moon.

Isla has apparently been paying attention when Graham practices/listens to worship songs. She learned a Hillsong piece without us even realizing it. It was on one day and she was singing right along! "The yost are found, the blind will see. The yame will walk, the dead will live. And you our God, forever you will reign!"

Isla is super smart. She's become quite sneaky at bedtime, doing everything she can to prevent the inevitable. If you are upstairs, she'll usually ask you to change her diaper downstairs and vice versa. She'll suddenly ask to go on the potty or tell you she has a poopy diaper even though you just changed her. She asks for story after story (we have a strict limit of 2 books for this reason) and then wants you to sing her songs on the guitar etc... We certainly don't oblige all her requests but you gotta give it to her, she's pretty creative!

Cold coffee

This week was rough. I admitted to Graham last night that it was definitely the hardest week for me since Emma's birth (other than her 2nd hospital stay of course--that will always trump!) Isla and I both got sick on Wednesday, just in time for Graham to go back to work Thursday/Friday which meant I was "on duty" from waking to bedtime for both girls. The jury is still out on whether we prefer 8 or 12 hour shifts!!

Anyway, I was feeling rather yucky myself and then add to that a toddler who was sick and whiny and a baby who likes to be held and you don't end of with the greatest of combinations. I couldn't get my hands free for two days straight. And that meant drinking cold coffee because I just couldn't get to it while it was hot. I felt like every sentence out of my mouth was "No Isla!" or "Stop doing that Isla!" or just a plain a very aggravated "ISLA!!!" Poor girl.

After a busy but fun weekend "hosting" family (hosting in quotes because more realistically, my family hosted themselves as I sat around in a daze, sniffling and sneezing and staring off into space), I was totally beat and in need of a good cry (a tell-tale sign of exhaustion for me). We had our 2nd date since Emma's birth on the calendar for Sunday night but we almost cancelled because we just weren't feeling up to it. I'm so glad we didn't.

We were barely off the babysitter's doorsteps before I began to cry. I think I did what we like to refer to as "emotional puke." Out spewed 12 billion thoughts, dreams, desires and frustrations all over the course of a drive downtown to dinner. I was feeling like a terrible awful no good really bad mom and I wasn't sure how I was going to launch into two more straight days of Graham back at work running on such a depleted tank.

My ever-supportive husband listened to my verbal vomit and then offered numerous words of encouragement. After a good night's rest (thanks Isla and Emma!!), I am feeling so much better and it's Monday even!! But there are so many things I want to work on. I want to be more patient, more joyful. I want to learn not to sweat the small stuff. I don't want to run an uptight home.

Motherhood is teaching me more than I ever thought possible. It reveals my ugly sides but I also hope it will reveal some strengths as well. It is by far the hardest job I have ever had. Hands down. No question. I am so thankful the Lord isn't finished with me yet. I have a lot to learn. This week I think I'll focus on joy.

Emma: 7 Weeks

-Emma has been a cooing and smiling machine all week. I think she's pretty darn close to laughing too. I can't wait!

-Something must have changed this week. We went from having almost no blowouts to my having to remove the cover on the carseat and throw it in the wash THREE times. So far they were timed ok when I had just enough time to get it through the washer and dryer before we had to leave again but I'm sure I won't always be so lucky. I'm tempted through throw a plastic bag or paper towel or something behind her because if she keeps this up, we're never gonna be able to leave the house!
-I discovered that Emma loves lays on her back and look at toys. She doesn't stay occupied for very long doing anything, but setting her up with a couple toys usually buys me 10 or 15 minutes.
-Someone suggested Emma dress up as Elvis for Halloween. What do you think? I mean, look at her hair!

-Yesterday I successfully got Emma to take a nap in her cradle, not being held. I put her in bed tired but still awake and she fell asleep on her own. Then she napped longer than Isla!! I'm hoping we are moving away from her power cat nap trend.
-We seem to have bumped Emma's bedtime up successfully over the weekend. She went down at 10:30 PM on Saturday and then has gone down at 7:30 or 8 PM the last 2 nights. Wahooo!
-I am so incredibly grateful for her sleep habits thus far. I think she did three, 7 hour stretches this week, once of which lasted from 11 PM to 6:30 AM. It is amazing and I am in total shock and awe as Isla didn't sleep like this for MONTHS! Seriously, it makes me giddy. Of course last night was awful, but I can handle the rough ones if they are intermixed with these good ones!

Sisters

I don't think I ever realized how much I wanted two daughters until it happened to me. Of course I would have been THRILLED to have a son but I'll admit I was secretly (or not so secretly) hoping Baby Crozier #2 would be a girl. I figured this would be our closest spacing between children and I really wanted them to be the same gender. I absolutely adore my older sister and she's been my best friend for 27 years (That's how old I am, right? Having babies the month of my birthday messes with our celebrating so it feels like I skipped two years somewhere in there and I can never remember how old I am--baby brain!!) Anyway, so when whoever it was in the delivery room (it's all a blur now) announced, "It's a girl!," I was elated. I am fully aware that not all sisters get along but I am hopeful these girls will grow up to be the very best of friends. I spent most of my pregnancy with Isla anticipating a boy since, after all, "Croziers only make boys," so it was only after that I began to ponder and anticipate the joys of having girls.....

The most obvious thing to look forward to of course is that Graham will be outnumbered when it comes to movie selections. Chick flicks or bust!!!

 Then there are the 20 more toes that will be requiring pedicures on a girls day out....

 And I think girls' weekends will be of the essence.

 And I must say I'm pretty pumped to shop for puffy prom dresses (though their dates are going to have to go through an extraordinarily rigorous interview process!!!)

I will get to help plan two weddings (forget about paying for them, that's Graham's job!! :))

I love girls. I love their clothes. I love their hair. I am thankful for these two precious daughters!

Today I am thankful....

-that by golly, I'm having a good hair day.
-that I woke up and it was almost sunny.
-for Graham's leave of absence from school this quarter.
-that I got an 8 hour stretch of sleep last night.
-for meal deliveries and freezer meals.
-that I am now the proud owner of nursing bras that actually fit.
-that Graham has the day off.
-for my $14 drip coffee maker. Actually, I adore that coffee maker.
-that I have a pair of jeans I can zip, even it they do create ghastly love handles.
-that my hubby sent me out the door to Starbucks ALONE and didn't even make me "time it" with feedings. He just told me to GO and NOT WORRY.
-that our mini van is home and fixed.
-for my double BOB stroller WITH the rainshield.
-and of course for my precious little family.

Overheard

This morning I witnessed the following in downtown Bellevue:

A very pregnant mom loaded her toddler followed by her single BOB stroller into her mid-size SUV. Meanwhile, she spies the mother of two tossing the double BOB with complete ease into the back of her minivan. The pregnant one says: "Wow, we just got this car and I really don't want to have to trade it in already but I'm watching how easy that was for you and I'm beginning to wonder..."

If that's not confirmation that we made the right decision in our car choice, I'm not sure what is! :)

Emma: 6 Weeks

This little girl has started smiling and I've fallen in love all over again. Times 10! It happened for the first time last Wednesday (10/5) when I got up in her face and said "Hi Emma!" I knew it was a real smile but made her do it like 5 more times, just to be sure. Today I was finally able to catch a picture of it.

I had been swaddling Emma with her arms out because she seemed to like it better after we got home from the hospital. But then this week, after one particularly rough evening when it was nearing 1 AM and she still wasn't asleep, I stuffed her arms inside and wrapped her super tight. She was out in minutes and thus commenced arms-in swaddling.

Oh my little presh presh! I can't get enough of these chubba cheeks!

Emma is sort of a spitty lady. The girl needs to be burped like I need oxygen to breathe. I definitely think she has some mild reflux as she urps and spits and looks like she gagging on a hairball if she is laid down flat too soon after eating. Thankfully I'm learning her cues and can usually tell when she needs a good burp or to be held upright. 

She isn't too keen on her bouncy seat but usually falls asleep on car rides in her carseat and will sleep for HOURS afterward if we keep her in it and transfer her inside. She has NEVER slept as well out of the seat and take lots of cat naps that last ~10 minutes.

She's making some fun cooing sounds and you can also see her gag on a hairball in this video. :)

Pumpkin Patch 2011

We headed out planning to take a walk somewhere in Bellevue but then I suggested going to a pumpkin patch. It could be our only sunny October Saturday afterall! We turned around and, without a map, headed out to the country figuring we'd stumble upon a patch somewhere...

Who knew Duvall was so pretty? Note Mt Rainier off in the distance. 

 Someone got tuckered out before the party even started

 Wouldn't ya know it!? We found a cute little organic farm called Oxbow Farm complete with a u-pick pumpkin patch and a "live playground" (tunnels and teepees made out of veggies) for kids.

 

 We're waiting to carve that prized pumpkin until the next rainy day. Gotta enjoy this beautiful fall weather!

 

Childhood fears

Most kids are scared of traditional things: spiders and snakes, the Boogie Man, the dark. It is only recently that I've come to realize I was a little bit odd. My two biggest fears were:

1) that my dad would start smoking

and

2) that my dad would grow a mustache

I don't know why I ever worried about #1. We were always the family that had to be seated as far away as possible from the smoking section when we ate breakfast at Denny's (yes kids, when I was little, people were allowed to smoke in restaurants). Actually, we were usually the family that would get all settled at our table, order our drinks and lick our silverware and then realize the table was not going to work. You see, my Dad would get horrible headaches if he was anywhere near smoke. So if someone in the remote area lit up (which happened EVERY time), we'd have to get up, grab our silverware and parade sheepishly across the restaurant to a new table. Oh man was it ever embarrassing. Needless to say, I'm not sure why I ever worried about fear #1.

Fear #2, however, did actually come true. On a number of occasions. Whenever we went camping or on vacation actually. For whatever reason, my dad would take a break from shaving and decide to let his facial hair run rampant. I hated it and would cry and cry and cry and BEG him to shave. When that didn't work, I'd dig deep into my 10-year-old repertoire of insults and say mean things like "That mustache makes you look like Inspector Gadget" or "You look so OLD!" It never seemed to work and I would cry myself to sleep every night for about a week until my Dad would finally shave (I'm sure he figured it just wasn't worth the drama). Let me tell you, that mustache was super scary.

Today as I was out on a jog, I remembered a 3rd fear. This one maybe a little more "normal" but still a bit off the wall. I was running in the rain when I saw this van approaching. You know, those large, boxy vans with square windows? Basically the shape of the FedEx delivery truck only much creepier. This van was coming my direction and I immediately found myself wanting to run and hide. Only then did it all come back to me. As a child, I was horribly afraid of the dog catcher!! Blame it on one too many viewings of 101 Dalmatians but I was always worried that they were going to nab our sweet dog Mitzi. Didn't the dog catcher drive around in one of those vehicles? Anyway, sometimes I feared they would go as far as to come into our gated backyard and sweep her up with their nasty nets. I always assumed they made their rounds through our neighborhood just as frequently as the garbage truck, that they were wanting to fill the pound with everyone's little puppies (like the pound was in need of any more dogs...) Horror of horrors!

Oh to be a child again and to have these things be my top three fears!

Emma: 5 Weeks

Emma:
-has started to track this week and I swear she smiled at me multiple times on Wednesday.
-weighed 11 pounds, 4 ounces at her 1 month appointment on Monday (90th percentile!) She is totally out of her newborn clothes and is fitting the 3 month size.
-loves being held. All the time. She usually wakes up the instant you lay her down, unless she is in a deep, deep slumber.
-is such a night owl. She will NOT go to sleep before 11 or midnight no matter how many get-to-sleep methods we try. At least she sleeps a 4 1/2 or 5 hour stretch once she finally goes down.
-no longer likes to lay on our chests. :( She seems to like being held and bounced or patted.
-tried an Avent bottle this week and was able to pace a bit better.

Balance

I can't do it all.

I've been trying to find some sense of balance over here as we settle back into a routine and a "new normal" now that Graham is back to work. I sort of feel like my life happens in slow motion as I start one thing, make it half or a quarter of the way through and then have to put it down and attend to another. After a number of incredibly frustrating days where I felt like I was getting nothing done, I decided I was being too hard on myself and that I needed to lower my expectations.

As I write this, it's 3 o clock and I haven't yet showered, I'm typing with one hand so I can hold my nursing baby with the other, there are toys strewn all over the living room floor, a carseat out and just waiting to be tripped on, screws, tools and clutter spread across the counter, a coat hanging over the banister, a basket of clean, unfolded clothes that has been sitting at the bottom of the stairs for days, and an unopened present beckoning on the kitchen table (who can't find time to open a gift!?!) Anyway, you get the picture. But at least I got the stroller out of the living room earlier today, the vacuum back in the closet where it belongs and the dishwasher emptied. It's a Christmas miracle! Oh and did I mention there are 2 loaves of chocolate chip zucchini bread baking in the oven (which, by the way, I've been trying to make for 3 weeks now with the last of the zucchini from my garden)? See, I can get some things done.

I just can't do it all.

I'm learning that it's all about priorities. And some might say I'm taking it to the extreme, but it's what is helping me function at the moment. I feel like God is trying to teach me to live in the moment and not to let precious opportunities pass me by. So I'm working on prioritizing. It has been super hard for me to let some of the clutter go. I thrive when I feel like I have a clean "haven" to run to. But I'm learning and am a work in progress.

I have started creating a written "schedule" for the week to help me see the big picture and to help me see each day as a "success." My schedule is simple really. I write out each day of the week and then include any known activities or commitments (MOPS/Dr appts etc). Then, I plan out when I will exercise (I've started my "Couch to 5K" plan and need to fit in 3 runs each week). Lastly, I add the other 2 weekly essentials in the gaps: grocery shopping and cleaning the house. I try to have only one or a max of two things each day so that I set myself up for success. If I have time to do something else, I can, but I give myself permission not to and to just take a break or take a nap instead if needed. I used to do a weekly deep clean and then lots of spot-cleaning throughout the week. I'm trying to let the spot-cleaning go and just remind myself that the house will get a thorough cleaning later on in the week. As silly as it sounds, it has be incredibly hard for me as I THRIVE when everything is squeaky clean.

I'm trying to set a timer for 15 minutes each day for focused play with Isla. It may not sounds like much but it's something and she just eats it up! Also, Graham and I went on our first date last week (sooooo needed) and we are hoping to figure out a system where we can go out twice a month and then have date nights in the other two weeks.

So far I am quite happy with my little system and hope we continue to settle nicely into life as a family of four. I must admit, I'm just loving it!! :)